2011/2012

Could we sit

and talk

about everything and nothing

like that first night on the balcony?

Oh mahn! That was entertaining!

When the lights

were out

but we saw each other clearly

and discovered for the first time that butterflies really flattered?

Could it stop

or pause

for us to take a step back

stay in that forever

feel that loss we feel now?

Oh mahn! It'll be so perfect!

Then maybe

we will remember

how we loved each other dearly

reckless and then carefree

but they robbed us of that pleasure!

Or

it was me

I was a coward

and everything I feel now

I wish I had said then

like

FUCK YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS

FUCK YOU IF YOU EVER FEEL THIS

PURE AND AUTHENTIC FEELINGS

FUCK YOU AND ALL YOUR ISSUES

FUCK YOU AND I MEAN IT

I HATE HATE

BUT I HATE YOU!

YOU ROBBED ME OF FOREVER

AND DAMN ME COZ I LISTENED!

And now

I sit alone

Watching my love find her own

She is happy

considering marriage

while I slowly die inside

wondering if

I'd find the one

who did

what she did

and made me smile genuinely

But it's cool

I'll be cool

All alone in my room

Alone on that balcony

Where it will just be me and me

So, I'll think, and I'll think

till I fly into forever

Hope it does for me what she did

and make me smile genuinely

Then maybe...