Bleeding hearts & Adult relationships

He told me adult relationships were unlike that of childhood

That they were more difficult to nurse

And void of any form of spontaneity and care

He said they were mostly transactional

Taking into context the benefits one might gain from another

And that was the base

He said I ought to get used to that

Else I'd watch my own heart break

I forgot to tell him my heart was already broken

Broken from the expectation of being placed on a stall

Marketing a potential self

Just to seem pleasing enough

Interesting enough

Good enough

To flourish a relationship I didn't yet care about enough

There was no being yourself he continued

For no one really loved or even liked you for being you

And if they did

It was because they saw the benefit thereof

I broke down

Cried myself to sleep

As I watched my heart coil at this conclusion

It was official

My heart had heard it

My eyes had been exposed to it

And his lips confirmed it

I close my diary full of expectations as I walk into reality

Stone cold and bloody hearted.