In. Out. In. Out

These words escape me

Slip easily out of my head like

The world is noisy

And my mind plays the accordion

Loudly, brazenly higher than all

And if I could give two cents I'd pay

But my mind carries no loose change

All it carries are visions of a future uprising in smoke

I'm derailed

And this skin acts tough

My heritage acts tough

My faith acts tough

But the spirit is broken

And it's not over

Because I can feel the voice of my gender slowly creeping in

Is there a book to enlighten me?

Is there a way I could cross this path peacefully?

No one speaks of the war within

Guns blazing

And you're the one shooting at yourself

I just want to cross

I just want green pastures then remind me of breathing in

Of taking it slowly

Of tomorrows with bright skies

And hopeful children playing in green fields of daffodils

I just want to breathe

In, Out, In, out

Give me a second to catch up